I find it nice to go to third places. Those are places outside home and work, and mostly where I meet new and old friends, dates, and community. They highly improve the sense of belonging and connection.
Those places can be bars, sports, recurring parties, and places for any other activities that you like to do. Important to realize: there are places that are not for you; if you notice that, don’t spend too much time trying to fit in. You’ve probably done enough fitting in for a lifetime already.
Becoming a regular also involves occupying a third space and making it a little bit yours. It takes effort and literally time. The other people and the environment shape you, but your presence and style also shape the place and the people around you.
Once you become a regular, you may see some overlap between the group of people from one place in another. Granted, some interests may correlate, yes, but there is even more serendipity when the common interests aren’t expected.
Acquaintances will wave. Familiar faces will smile. Interactions will start. Friends will call your name. There is community that you help build.
This was somewhat inspired by Ana’s blog post but also by carving third spaces in real life.